The neckties we leave behind

Visiting my office today for some curbside pickups, I glanced toward my collection of neckties hanging from a peg and sighed a bit. I’m not sure how many neckties I own, exactly, but it’s a few dozen. Not a small amount, but also not as robust as some other collections I’ve seen online. It’s been entirely too long since I’ve needed to wear a suit for work, and by consequence the need to tie some silk around my neck has also disappeared. 

I’ve always loved neckties, before I even started to wear a suit. I remember as a child learning how to tie a half-Windsor from my father. I wore them to church. I even had a tie with artwork from The Empire Strikes Back on it. I think wearing a necktie is one of those rites of passage you experience as a boy — so long to clip-on nonsense and hello to dressing like an adult! 

As with all hobbies, my interest in men’s clothing grew into obsession; and if I’m being frank — snobbery. Not all silks are created equal. You start looking for hand-sewn bartack stitching and hand-rolled edges. Maybe you start preferring neckties made with a minimum of 4-fold construction (ideally 6 or more!) to the standard 3-fold. You start having a preference for interlinings. Maybe you even go as far as to monogram your ties. 

My favorite neckties are made by Vanda Fine Clothing. I’ve told this to anyone who would listen: friends, clients, and strangers on the Internet. No one makes a better necktie. You can get a good — even great — necktie elsewhere, but Vanda makes the best. At one point, I sold my entire collection of neckties and built up a new collection of Vandas. 

And that’s what makes seeing those neckties hanging from the wall so painful. I truly love those neckties, and I’ve no clue when I’ll be regularly wearing them again. I miss coming into work and thumbing thru them to pick the day’s finishing touch. I miss the smoothness of cinching the knot. I miss the routine. 

I know someone is going to tell me, “You can wear a necktie at home! Dress for yourself!” I tried that for a week — putting on a necktie while working from my kitchen table — and it just isn’t the same. 

The act of dressing up in tailored clothing and furnishings isn’t as enjoyable when you’ve nowhere to go. I believe in environmental dressing, where what you wear reflects your surroundings. To me, home is a place of relaxation and ease. The office is a place of work, excitement and energy as you interact with clients. In many ways, I find these wardrobes non-transferable. 

After wearing a necktie for a week at home, I felt the role of the necktie in my future would be limited to special occasions and events. After this giant social experiment of working from home eventually ends, my gut tells me wearing a necktie to work for most guys will be overly formal, especially as you might be in virtual meetings with coworkers and clients at home in T-shirts. 

Traditionalist fans of men’s clothing will howl against this and curmudgeonly comment on the falling of standards and how no one understands how to “properly” dress anymore. Admittedly, I used to fall into this category. But I’ve grown soft. I think part of my job working in the industry now involves observing shifts in our culture and responding not by fighting against it but instead helping my clients change with the current. You cannot stay relevant by ignoring trends. 

Part of me hopes I’m wrong. I’d hate to leave those neckties to gather dust.